Brookline Police of Massachusetts

Domestic Violence Guide

Domestic Abuse Warning Signs

Have you ever been hit, pushed, grabbed, or threatened by your partner?
Does your partner frighten or intimidate you?
Have you told your partner that you are afraid of him/her?
Have you shown fear in other ways?
Are your children in fear of him/her?
Does your partner insult you, call you names, or say things that make you feel uncomfortable?
Does your partner pressure you to do things their way, make all the decisions, or try to control you?
Does your partner have a history of violence, or being short tempered?
When your partner treats you badly do they consider it to be your fault?
Do they blame their anger on alcohol, stress or other problems?

Are you abused? Does the person you love . . .

If you answer “yes” to even a few of these questions, it's time to get help!!

If you are hurt, what can you do?

There are no easy answers, but there are things you can do to protect yourself:

Call the police or sheriff. Assault, even by family members, is a crime. The police often have information about shelters and other agencies that help victims of domestic violence.
Leave, or have someone come stay with you. Go to a battered-woman's shelter – you can call a crisis hotline in your community, or a health center, to locate a shelter. If you believe that you and your children are in danger, leave immediately!
Get medical attention from your doctor or a hospital emergency room. Ask the staff to photograph your injuries and jeep detailed records in case you decide to take legal action.

Don't ignore the problem!

Contact your family court for information about a civil protection order that doesn't involve criminal charges or penalties.
Talk to someone. Part of the abuser's power comes from secrecy. Victims are often ashamed to let anyone know about intimate family problems. Go to a friend or neighbor, or call a domestic-violence hotline to talk to a counselor.
Plan ahead and know what you will do if you are attacked again. If you decide to leave, choose a place to go, and set aside some money. Put important papers together – marriage license, birth certificate, checkbooks, savings account books, social security cards, insurance information – in a place where you can get them quickly.
Learn to think independently. Try to plan for the future and set goals for yourself.

Dangers / Have a Plan

Have a safety plan
Pre-arrange for a place to go if you are planning on leaving your abuser.
One of the most dangerous times for the victim is when they are terminating the relationship. Plan to break it off in a public place with a lot of people around.
Obtain a restraining order as soon as possible.
Change your locks
Seek emergency shelter if you don't feel safe at home
Change your routine
Inform the people you work with / for
Avoid isolated areas

Have you hurt someone in your family?

Accept the fact that your violent behavior will destroy your family. Be aware that you break the law when you physically hurt someone.
Take responsibility for your actions and get help.
When you feel tension building, get away. Work off the angry energy through a walk, a project, or a sport.
Call a domestic-violence hotline or a health center and ask about counseling and support groups for people who batter.

The high costs of domestic violence

Men and women who follow their parents' example and use violence to solve conflicts are teaching the same destructive behavior to their children.
Jobs can be lost or careers halted as a result of injuries, arrests, or harassment.
Lives can be lost – violent behavior often leads to death!

Take a stand!

Reach out to someone you believe is a victim of family violence, or to someone you think is being abusive. Don't give up easily – change takes time. Ending the family's isolation is a critical first step.
Use organizations and businesses to raise community awareness by hosting speakers on domestic violence, launching public-education campaigns, and raising funds for shelter and hotlines.
Ask the local newspaper, radio station, or TV station to examine the problem and publicize resources in the community through special features and forums.
Form coalitions or “watchdog” groups to monitor the responses of local law-enforcement agencies and courts. Offer praise where appropriate and demand reform when necessary.
Most communities offer resources for victims of family violence. Check your telephone directory or ask a law-enforcement agency.

Domestic Abuse Resources

Emergency 911
Brookline Police, Business 730-2222 (24 hours)
Brookline Police Domestic Violence Unit 730-2247
The Support Committee for Battered Woman 1-800-899-4000 (24 hour hotline)
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE
Casa Myrna Vasquez 1-800-992-2600
New Hope 1-800-323-4673
Dove 1-888-314-DOVE (3683)
Elizabeth Stone House 617-522-3417
Asian Shelter and Advocacy Project 617-338-2355
Coalition for Battered Woman 617-248-0922
Norfolk County District Attorney's Office 617-738-5072 (Brookline Office)
Brookline Mental Health 617-277-8107
Jewish Family & Children's Services 617-566-5716 (Russian speaking)
Gay Men's Domestic Violence Project. PMB 131. 955 Massachusetts Avenue. Cambridge, MA 02139. 617-354-6056. Director of Education: Adam Heintz. The Toll Free Crisis Hotline Number is 1-800-832-1901. The crisis hotline is monitored 24 hours a day and is accessible throughout the Commonwealth. www.gmdvp.org